There's a bluebird in my heart
by campfiresongs
Summary: What if Stefan didn't immediately leave after Homecoming? An alternate ending to 3x9. A series of oneshots.
1. Bluebird

_But he's singing a little_  
><em> in there, I haven't quite let him die<em>  
><em> and we sleep together like<em>  
><em> that with our secret pact<em>  
><em> and it's nice enough to<em>  
><em> make a man weep, but I don't<em>  
><em> weep, <em>

_do_  
><em> you?<em>

Elena stepped back from the steadily, increasingly intoxicated Damon Salvatore as he answered his ringing phone. She watched as he verbally sparred with Katherine, his spirit too wounded to even put up a good argument with her.

In a strange, slightly twisted way, it comforted her to see him love someone so strongly and so powerfully that it could send him flying into an inconsolable rage, and it not for once be her. She had tried to force herself to feel the same way, even just now telling him that they would forget Stefan. But how could she forget Stefan? She still felt like part of her _was_ Stefan and that part of her felt so battered and bruised and worn down but it still held on for dear life; with everything she was she knew she could never forget Stefan.

Just looking at Damon; she could feel his love for her practically gushing, overflowing towards her like a tsunami tide until she felt like she was drowning in it and still not love him back in the way he wanted her to. Suffocated by the love of one brother and the longing for another, she felt like she constantly could not breathe. She heard Damon end the phone call, she did not ask where Katherine was, and she doubted she had divulged that information to Damon.

"I'm going to bed." She stated. She did not approach him again, to say goodnight. She had overstepped earlier, she had felt his neck began to shift, the vertebrae sliding over each other as they prepared for the forward flexion as she had clasped her hands around him. In all honesty she'd convinced herself that if he had kissed her, she would have let him. She felt like she owed it to him, _how wonderful_, she thought, _your life has become so messed up that you feel you have to kiss people to reward them for friendship_.

She withdrew to the corridor and faced the difficult task of walking up the staircase, that staircase. Ghosts of touches and embraces scraped across her body and her face as she reached the first landing, she saw herself being lifted into Stefan's embrace, kissing him and knowing with absolute certainty that she wanted nothing more than to go exactly where he was taking her. Right there and then, that's when she'd known that there was no going back, she was going to give herself to him entirely and they'd be together forever. _So much for forever_.

* * *

><p>Finally having managed to make it up the staircase, past nameless other rooms that she'd never bothered to explore, knowing she belonged in only one of them. She opened the creaking door to Stefan's room. Kicking off her shoes she pulled her hair up into a pony tail and headed towards the bathroom to brush her teeth.<p>

"Elena." Her eyes flickered closed; she breathed out, slowly, and opened them again. She groaned, not again, she didn't need this, she didn't need to see him outside of her dreams, it was bad enough that she spent sleepless nights tormented by his face, twisted and cruel and full of hatred for her. She was now seeing him in her waking hours as well. She rubbed her eyes and bent down to splash her face with water.

"Elena." Repeated the taunting apparition. A single tear crept out of the corner of her eye as she looked into the mirror and saw the illusion standing behind her; it smiled weakly, not the usual mocking smiles experienced in her dreams but a smile tinged with warmth. She frowned slightly and watched with trepidation as the vision reached forward, taking her wrist.

She gasped, whipping around to face him so quickly that she fell off balance; he lunged forward with impossible speed to steady her. Standing up in sync with her so that they stood face to face, staring at each other. Tentatively she reached forward a shaking hand, placing her palm on his cool cheek; he leaned into it and closed his eyes, smiling slightly. A guttural gasp escaped her lips and she felt tears come streaming, freely down her cheeks. He was real.

* * *

><p>"I don't have much time." He stated simply, wiping the tears away from her face with gentle hands. Elena flinched, suddenly aware of the things those hands had done, the atrocities carried out by them. Sensing her sudden misgivings Stefan stepped back from her, putting a bit of space between them, though not far enough so that he couldn't still smell her and see the lines under her eyes and the bluish tinge that encircled the whole socket; she hadn't slept in weeks he could see that now. He closed his eyes and felt his jaw clench, he knew this would happen to him, every time he looked at her he was now reminded of the horrific things he had said and done to her. Like Katherine had said, it was all now letting itself back in, the feelings, the emotions and all the heart ache he had caused her.<p>

"Elena I am so-"

"Please don't, Stefan." She cut across him, "Please don't apologise because if you say sorry I have to believe that it was you who did those things and...and I can't do that. I have to believe that it wasn't you all those times." She swallowed, wincing as she felt the lump in her throat dislodge slightly. It had been there for months, a physical manifestation of her grief and only now did she feel like it might move. "So..." she couldn't look at him, couldn't face him until she knew. "Do you...have you got your...?"

"Yes, Elena." He interrupted her, placing a finger underneath her chin and raising her face to look him in the eye. "Klaus set me free." She flinched at the sound of his name; still being used in the present tense, still keeping her alive as a human blood bag, still tearing all their lives apart.

Hurt and betrayal flared up inside her like a wave of nausea, anger towards Stefan burned away at her insides. Klaus was still alive because of him. Feeling defiant she clenched her jaw, "Why did you do it Stefan? You would have had your freedom if Klaus had died anyway! Did your loyalty to him run so deep that you'd see me be used as his human blood bank forever? And Damon!" she flung her arms out, "This whole ordeal was in order for you to save Damon but you destroyed our only chance of being free from Klaus for good, how could you!" she had to stop in order to breathe, she was now positively apoplectic with rage, all the past months hurt and frustration coming out in one breath. She was crying now, she was aware of it but she would not back down, gasping for breath she watched his face, trying not to balk as hurt spread across it.

"I did it for Damon, Elena. Klaus had arranged for his hybrids to destroy Damon if he was killed, I wasn't willing to take that risk. I...I'm sorry. I can't imagine how hard this has been for you...and Damon." He'd rather not think of his brother and Elena as a pair but the thought had not slipped his mind that a lot of things might have changed in his absence.

* * *

><p>Elena sighed, feeling immediately guilty. How could she not have guessed that it wouldn't have something to do with the bond between the two brothers? "Stefan I..." she began, "I'm exhausted." Not being able to express the way she was feeling in any other way. He nodded solemnly and settled on saying, "I missed you." He stared right into her eyes, desperately trying to convince her that he had his humanity once more. "I missed you too, Stefan." She echoed, stepping fowards and shyly taking his hand in hers. It was a small step.<p>

Suddenly, she was crying. Sobbing, heaving great gulps of air and feeling her legs give out from underneath her. She buried her face into her hands, a small ball on the stone floor. A shiver went through Stefan, he had done this, he had broken her down, he wondered how many times she had lost it like this and he hadn't been there to pick her up and he was completely responsible. And he would fix it; starting with Klaus.

He crouched down in front of her, lowering himself onto the floor and pulling her to him like a rag doll. He kissed the top of her head gently, willing himself to breath, concentrate, breath, and repeat. Even now he could hear her heart hammering against her ribcage, hear the valves opening and closing sending wondrous blood coursing through her body, to her flushed neck and face. Concentrate, breath, repeat, concentrate, breath and repeat.

Her heart is slowing and her breathing becomes more regular as her sobbing lessens into a weak sniffle and eventually she raises her face, wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve and looking guilty and worn down. It took everything within him not to sweep her off her feet and into his embrace and eventually, his bed. But he settled with leaning forwards, pressing his lips to hers, as gently as he could muster.

Yet she was pulling away, clearing her throat and tucking her hair behind her ears, the same way she did when she felt guilty and uncomfortable and part of him understood what she had felt like when he'd said those things- _I don't wanna be with you. _The words echoed around his head until he felt nauseous, like they might physically hurt the inside of his skull. "Stefan-" her voice snapped him back to reality, back to the broken girl lying in his lap, the only thing that has ever been enough to save him...about to say no. About to tell him to get out, get out of her life and never come back. "I can't..." she begins and he braces himself because he knows it's going to feel like getting hit by a freight train because he's been here before, "It's too soon and-" she isn't even looking at him, "I don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt."

"Damon's." He hears the voice but it takes him a moment to realise it's him that has spoken. His voice cracks over his brother's name; payback that's been 147 years in the making. "You don't want Damon's feelings to get hurt." He can't even nod, can't even move because he feels like he might snap in two. But he finds an inner strength; he's been to hell and back in the last few months and he knows this hidden reserve exists, it used to exist for her; so that he could think of her in the quiet moments between killings but he uses it now to stand up and move away from her.

She stands too. Hauling herself to her feet and sniffing once more, clearing the last remnants of tears. "No Stefan-" she frantically tries to explain but she's shaking his head, putting distance between them both.

"I was stupid to think that I could come back and nothing would have changed. He's looked after you Elena and...it should be him."

"No Stefan-" she's reaching forwards now, towards him like a port in a storm. Pinning her small hands across his biceps and forcing him to look at her. "It's you, Stefan." She shakes him gently, not really capable of much else, "It's always going to be you. But I need some time." He nodded, feeling a small piece of his humanity come rushing back to his heart, like a piece of shrapnel dislodging itself from within him, a relief but deadly at the same time.

He pulled her to him and they stayed like that, he planted a small kiss on the top of her head and as quickly as he'd appeared he was gone and she felt cold again, holding onto nothing.

She didn't need superhuman hearing to feel the smallest of breaks in the heart of Damon Salvatore as he knocked back another glass of scotch downstairs.

* * *

><p><strong>So...this is my first vampire diaries fic. Its safe to say I am going a little bit insane at the thought of having to wait til january for the next episode! January! I've been wanting to write one of these for a while and really loved the last episode and couldn't stop thinking about what if it had ended a bit differently. I kinda hope Stefan doesn't become all boring again though, I enjoy him being a badass.<strong>

**Anywho, please review and let me know what you think! I'm hoping to keep this going as a series of oneshots, not entirely s/e either**.

**Love yaaa xxxx**


	2. Absolution

Tyler Lockwood was turning eighteen. And in true Lockwood style this was being done with lots of people and lots of alcohol at his house. Elena had promised Caroline she would come, for moral support and as a drinking partner if necessary.

"I'm not gunna let him think that his sucky hybrid-ness has affected me one bit." She effused, already slightly tipsy as they got ready in Elena's room, a half empty bottle of wine by her feet. Bonnie had agreed to come as well, they hadn't done enough things like this recently, they hadn't been teenagers in far too long. "If he wants to get with stupid, slutty girls all night then that's fine!" she carried on, waving her mascara wand animatedly. "That's fine! But I will just have to show him," she pointed the wand at the mirror she was sat cross legged in front of, "what he is missing!"

"OK boozy, well you're gunna have to keep still or your hair is not gunna be in keeping with operation make Tyler jealous." Bonnie giggled as she attempted to curl it from behind her, as the blonde swayed her head to the music coming from Elena's speakers. Elena sat on her bed watching them; smiling as Caroline inspected each hair that Bonnie had curled with increasing trepidation.

Caroline broke through her daze, looking at her through the reflection in the mirror. "So...where's Damon tonight Elena?" she drew Elena's name out in a sing song voice, raising her eyebrows in a teasing manner. "I've been there you know-"

"Ew, Caroline!" exclaimed Bonnie.

"What!" she laughed, "All I'm saying is that although he treated me like his play thing he did rock my world...several times." She giggled as Elena's face immediately turned pink and she shook her head.

"Oh my god Caroline that is completely gross." Bonnie shouted, turning around to face Elena, "Ignore her she is _wasted." _She said, punctuating her last word by plucking the bottle of wine out of Caroline's hands and passing it to Elena and rolling her eyes. "You, however," she added mischievously, "are not nearly as drunk as you should be."

Elena laughed gently, accepting the bottle and taking a small swig. She appreciated their attempts at levity and she did feel happier and lighter than she had in a long time. Maybe she should just let go tonight, be the carefree and fun Elena that she used to be; always at parties, always the life and soul of them. She took another swig, feeling a pleasant light headedness stretch up into her head and round her face before nodding her head, at no one in particular, in agreement.

She passed the bottle back to Bonnie who also took a sip, removing it from Caroline's outstretched hands and placing it on Elena's dressing table. "There," she said satisfactorily to Caroline, "You're all done." Caroline clapped her hands in excitement, before swivelling round to face Elena.

"You didn't answer my question Elena." She continued to pronounce her name in the same musical fashion, Elena smiled, the wine helping her to feel a lot less irritated by this than she normally would be.

"I don't know Caroline." She said, emphasising her name, "I don't keep tabs on him all the time, I presume he's with Ric." She finished, it was the truth, she didn't know where he was, he knew she was going to a party and there hadn't been anything else said about it.

Her increasingly drunk head swam with thoughts of Damon. She immediately reprimanded herself, having sworn to herself that she would not concern herself with thoughts of either Salvatore brother tonight and all would be well. But one thought had been allowed to creep in, _what are you doing? _ Over and over it repeated itself in her hand until she was sure that someone had hypnotised her in her sleep or she had picked up some subliminal message. What was she doing? She had absolutely no clue, she felt that she had let this whole thing go way too far and there was no going back now. Not that she was sure she wanted to go back anyway.

* * *

><p>They were greeted at the Lockwood mansion by scenes that were reminiscent of Elena's own eighteenth birthday. All around them people were doing keg stands and somewhere in a corner she could hear people cheering around a beer pong table someone had set up. Several people greeted the trio as they walked in, it felt good again to get out and do normal things and combined with an already fair amount of alcohol Elena let the general atmosphere of the party taker her over. Suddenly Caroline was forcing a plastic cup into hers and Bonnie's hands, pilfered from where she didn't know, but she gulped it down obligingly before being jerked onto to the dance floor by, what looked like, an incredibly drunk Matt.<p>

It was wonderful to see Matt so happy for once, they had both been through such a strange and incredibly hard time and she took great enjoyment in dancing with him and the others for a while. After a particularly energetic song that left Elena's head spinning she pushed her way through the crowd, through the backdoors onto the patio outside.

* * *

><p>Breathing in the cool air she sat herself down on one of the steps that lead onto the lawn. Resting her chin on her cupped hand she sighed, she had so many memories of them all sneaking out here when they were younger, sharing a stolen bottle of booze or trying their first cigarettes. Everything had been unbelievably simpler back then, she had a grasp on her future and things weren't complicated. None of them were doppelgangers or witches or vampires or werewolves (or both in Tyler's case). They had all just been a bunch of teenagers experiencing life in their prime. She tried not to look back on those days with regret, tried not to let all the what if's clamber at her mind. But sometimes it was too hard. What if she'd known her parents would be dead within a year? Would she have gone to as many parties, probably not. What if she'd stayed with Matt? What if Stefan hadn't shown up a year ago at her high school and changed everything?<p>

"Ugh." She said, into the night exasperatedly. Standing and brushing herself off she turned to head back into the party to be met with a familiar face. How long had he been there for?

"I'm here about a noise complaint." He said, smirking, looking completely irresistible in his leather jacket and jeans combo. His lips pulled up ever so slightly at the corners of his mouth. She was way too drunk for this.

"Aren't you a bit old for an eighteenth birthday party?" she countered, doing her best to focus her line of sight back through the doors into the party where her friends were still dancing.

"And aren't you a little young to be this inebriated, Miss Gilbert? I could have you arrested you know," he smirked again, raising his eyebrows ever so slightly and widening his dangerously blue eyes in that irritatingly enticing way that he did. "I've got friends in very high places."

She snorted and rolled her eyes, doing her best to maintain an air of nonchalance and also stay firmly stood on two feet without swaying; both were taking a lot of effort. She decided her best course of action was to head back to the party as quickly as she could, removing herself from this situation and putting herself firmly within the eyesight of Tyler Lockwood, Matt and her brother, Jeremy, all of who were not Damon's biggest fans. She took a few steps forward, _good Elena_, she thought; _keep it up you're almost home and dry._

Then, she stumbled, just as she drew level with his shoulders. _Damn these stupid heels_, she cursed angrily. "Shit!" she exclaimed, going over on her ankle and finding herself immediately supported by Damon. She tried to shrug him off but he only moved closer to her, laughing slightly.

"You really are a sight for sore eyes, you know that?" he said, unexpectedly, eyeing up her incredibly short dress and bare legs. She turned her face to look at him, _bad idea_ she immediately reprimanded herself, feeling her head swim as if she'd just knocked back another ten shots of tequila. "Why don't we get you home?" he suggested kindly, however Elena sensed the mischief behind his words and groaned inwardly. This was all getting far too easy for him, he was wearing her down bit by bit and they were becoming a balancing act. The easier it got for him to get a rise out of her the harder it got for her to resist biting the lines he constantly threw her. "Let me help you." He said, reaching around her and wrapping an arm around her waist.

Elena sighed, "Fine." She said, surprisingly submissive. She reached down, slipping both of her shoes off and sidling out of his arms, turning to face him and planting her shoes in his arms. "Thanks, Damon." She smiled, "You're a great help." She patted him on the shoulder patronisingly before winking and skipping back into party, leaving him standing, incredulous with her shoes in his hands.

* * *

><p>"Shhh!" came the incredibly loud attempt at a whisper as Elena let herself into her house, walked to the door by an, if possible, drunker than her, Matt. "You'll wake Alaric." She placed her finger on her lips dramatically, stifling laughter.<p>

"Matt! Come on! My mum is gunna kill me," screamed an impatient Caroline from the taxi, sending them both into fits of giggles on Elena's doorstep. "Bye Elena!" shouted Caroline, waving through the window and Elena waved back, giving Matt a quick hug before he ran back to the taxi. Jeremy had stayed at Bonnie's and she was happy that they were working things out, Matt was going to make sure Caroline got home safely before heading home himself.

The sun was just beginning to creep up on the horizon and the sky was tinged with a grey, blue quality. Elena took a second to appreciate this before a colossal yawn reminded her that it was way too late and she should be in bed. She crept up the stairs, past Jenna's room where Alaric had finally agreed to take up residence. Mercifully it seemed that he had probably drunk himself into a stupor again and remained peacefully oblivious to the under-aged drunken girl, under his unofficial guardianship, staggering up the staircase.

Creeping into her bedroom she immediately headed for her bathroom, brushing her teeth and removing most of her makeup, she was far too tired to do a proper job of it tonight. She flicked the light on as she entered her room, reaching up and behind her neck to undo the zip of her dress.

"Need a hand with that?" Asked a sarcastic voice from her. Sprawled across her bed was Damon Salvatore, in the same clothes from earlier, her teddy bear cuddled into his chest and her shoes dangling by their straps off the finger of his outstretched right hand. She had learnt by now not to be startled by Damon's unannounced appearances in her room, it gave him too much satisfaction. She groaned, this time openly, this was the last thing she needed right now, a scorned Damon tormenting her.

"What do you want, Damon?" she asked exasperatedly, firmly zipping her dress back up and reaching for her baggy pyjama top from the foot of her bed. Pulling it over her head she pulled her pyjama shorts on under her dress and managed to manoeuvre her dress down over her ankles under her shirt. Damon raised his eyebrows at the spectacle, quietly impressed. As she headed towards her bed he stood up, planting himself firmly in her way. There was a moment of left to right stepping where she tried to get around him before she submitted, folding her arms across her chest in frustration and fixing him with her most annoyed look she could muster in her current state.

God that look killed Damon, all pouty lips and furrowed eyebrows, she was just about the most enchanting thing he'd ever seen. "Oh don't get all angry at me boozy," he joked, throwing her shoes into a corner. "I was just coming to make sure you got home OK and also to return the shoes that you so kindly entrusted into my care." She struggled to stop the corners of her mouth twitching and attempted to cover it with a yawn, but she was certain Damon had caught it. He could push her tonight, he knew it.

"So..." he began, circling his eyes humorously, taking a step towards her, "did you crazy kids have an awesome time at your off the chain party?" he asked sarcastically.

Elena shook her head in amusement, "Wow, you are so cool." She attempted once more to step past him but this time he caught her arms, placing them round his neck, smiling all the time. "Come on Elena," he pleaded mockingly, "Why don't you show me some of those great moves you were showing off tonight with your little friend Matt? He sure was appreciative of your attention." She struggled to free her arms but he'd pinned her against him with his arms around her waist. "Stop it Damon, me and Matt are just friends. Plus he was really drunk."

Damon laughed openly, the sound of it causing Elena's heart to leap slightly, "Oh and you weren't?" he scoffed. He had begun to move his hips against her, "I've got some pretty cool moves myself, you know?" She was struggling not to laugh, he looked ridiculous. "You know back in the day we called this the bump and grind and, I don't mean to brag, but the ladies could not get enough of this." He slowly slid his hands down to her hips, goose bumps ran across her stomach and she prayed to god that he couldn't hear her heart pounding against her chest. "Come on Elena," he challenged, "You gotta loosen these hips up a bit." She jovially pushed him away from her, not even attempting to keep her laughter in anymore. "Yeah, thanks for the dancing lesson Damon, but I think I'm just gunna go to sleep."

"I'm sure you think you were awfully funny tonight," Elena groaned again, just as she was about to get into bed. _Don't respond, ignore him, don't bite_.

"Excuse me?" she questioned, swivelling to face him once more, raising an eyebrow. _Dammit, Elena._

"That whole 'you're a great help' thing earlier. Really, it was pretty funny."

"I'm glad you thought so." She smiled acerbically.

"But if you ever _really_ want to thank me..." he raised his eyebrows provocatively and she felt her cheeks turn red. "I think you know how." He whispered into her ear.

"Ew, Damon!" she exclaimed, trying to remain as calm and as possible, brushing it all off as a joke. She slapped his arm yet he grabbed her hand before she could draw it back. He slowly raised it to his mouth and for one terrifying second she thought he was going to bite her, however he slowly brushed his lips across the tips of her fingers. Her face felt like it was burning and goose bumps ran all down her arms, travelling all the way up to her neck. She nervously tried to tug her hand away yet he propelled her towards him until they were pinned against each other once again, his hand placed upon the small of her back while his other still gripped hers tightly. "Damon-"she began quietly, struggling for breath.

"Just tell me to stop, Elena." He whispered. Her head was swimming, she felt faint and she was too warm. She desperately needed air and she couldn't, _absolutely _couldn't be here, this close to Damon Salvatore and this drunk.

She lowered her head, "I can't do this to St-" she began to mumble.

"Don't" Warned Damon, whispering menacingly.

"-efan." She finished, cutting across him.

"Don't make this about him." He had loosened his grip on her already, "You know damn well that this isn't about him. This is about me and you." He was raising his voice, losing his temper. He always lost himself around her; he couldn't control himself one way or another. She sighed exasperatedly, knowing that this conversation had been a long time coming. "He doesn't deserve this." She whispered, tucking a strand of hair that fallen across her face behind her ear. She stepped back from him and he let her slide through his arms.

He felt rage boil up inside him, and her voice distorted and mocking, _always Stefan, always Stefan, always..._

He turned and slammed his hand into her door letting out a shout of frustration, not giving a damn if Ric hears; he'd probably kill him again just to keep his hands off her right now. She does well to act like she isn't scared, like she isn't looking at that same door and remembering the last time this topic was broached and her brother ended up dead on her floor. She knew he could hear her heart rate escalating, knew he'd heard her stifled whimper as he punched her door and she prayed to god that she could take all this back and she could get out of her own head just once.

"And what do I deserve, Elena!" he suddenly turned back to face her, his nostrils flaring and his eyes flashing dangerously. "Huh?" he shouted confrontationally, raising his arms. "To have you in my house every single night, but not in my bed? To lie awake all night and hear you awake through the _fucking_ walls but know there is absolutely nothing I can do about it? Or maybe to have to listen to you saying my brother's name in your sleep, over and over until I think I'm gunna kill myself I can't take it anymore!" he was furiously running his hands through this hair, pacing around her room panting like an animal.

She had sat on the edge of her bed now, too weak and petrified to stand and watch him unravel in front of her. _Is this what's it like, _she thought bitterly, _to be Katherine? Who would want this? _

He turned to her, suddenly expecting an answer to all his questions, spoken and unspoken. But instead was faced with the consequences of his actions, coming towards him like steamroller and flattening him. There she was, terrified. Her face stained with tears, her eyes bloodshot and he could hear her heart beating miles away. He noticed her frequently eyeing the door, the window, the bathroom. Escape routes. And he remembered once more why he said those words all those months ago. _I don't deserve you. But my brother does. _Making his way towards her he thought that his heart would break when she clambered backwards as far away from him as she could muster. He knelt at her feet, wrapping his arms around her legs and burying his face in her knees.

"I'm so sorry." He sobs, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably. And because of what they are, it's forgiven, quicker than instantly.

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><p><strong>Thank you very much for all the lovely reviews. Took a bit of different approach on this one, its a bit more DE but I hope that any hardcore S/E shippers will still like it. I do find Damon and Elena's relationship intriguing sometimes.**

**Please review if you liked it/hated it/feel indifferent about it! **

**Much love xxx**


	3. A Merry Mystic Christmas

"So...remind me why I'm being roped into this again?" asked Elena Gilbert light-heartedly. A red and white Santa hat was balanced on her head as she stood at the foot of a ladder, at the top of which a blonde figure, in a similar hat with tinsel tied around her waist, balanced on one foot, reaching across to tie the corners of a banner to the ceiling of the school gym.

"Because, Elena," answered Caroline, grunting as she reached to the edges of her base of support to secure the final pin, "I am the head of the student council and as my friend," she emphasised this word greatly, "you are obliged to help me. Does this look straight to you?" she frowned, trying to lean backwards to get a view of the full effect. The banner was strung across the width of the entrance to the gym, bright red and green letters emblazoned across it wishing people a 'Merry Mystic Christmas.'

Elena looked around the room, people were scurrying around, just like elves, she thought humorously. Except their boss wasn't a jolly man who brought everyone presents, it was a blonde, vampire slave driver who's standards were impossibly high. "Elena!" Caroline's harsh shout snapped her out of her daydream.

"What?" Shouted Elena up the ladder, her patience with Caroline wearing thin; she had been here for four hours, glittering, spreading fake snow and cutting out snowflakes until her fingers ached.

"I asked you does this look straight." Caroline waved her arms frantically, indicating the, obviously crooked, banner desperately.

Elena appraised it before nodding her head, "Looks straight to me." She smiled mischievously.

"Great!" chirped Caroline, making her way down the ladder, a bell on the end of her hat jingling every time she took a step.

* * *

><p>Caroline was a Christmas person and you were either a Christmas person or you weren't, Elena had decided. Just like you were either a boy or a girl, a dog or a cat, a Bieber fan or not, you could not be on the fence with Christmas. Elena, sadly, was not a Christmas person. She used to be, she used to love nothing more than putting up the decorations with her parents, hanging stockings up on their fireplace and going carolling with her friends. But the last few years had made merriment and jolliness hard to come by and Christmas, requiring both in plentiful supply, was just not her thing anymore. Furthermore the thought of attending another school dance, a Christmas themed one at that, did not rank high on her 'thing's I want to do in my spare time' list. However, unfortunately for Elena, Caroline was up there on her 'people I owe for eternity' list and had therefore found herself dragged to the school gym to help with preparations and deal with the uber stressed Caroline.<p>

Elena picked her bag up from the other side of the gym, shifting it onto her shoulder she waved to Caroline. "I've done my time, I'm gunna take off." She smiled as Caroline nodded before she turned to yell at a freshman across the room, "Since when did those colours go together!" she screamed, beginning to storm towards the cowering girl. Swivelling she called after Elena, "You're coming to watch me cheer at the game tonight, right?"  
>Elena inwardly groaned, she had forgotten and no, she hadn't planned to spend her evening watching football in the freezing cold while her two best friends cheered enthusiastically, reminding her once again of how drastically her life had changed.<p>

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." She lied, forcing a tight smile to spread across her face before heading out to her car. A few inches of snow had settled in the last few days with the promise of more to come. Her feet crunched as she crossed the car park, her breath spiralling out before her in streams of vapour as she folded her arms across her to protect against the frigid air. She glanced up as a few flakes started to fall onto her, she watched intently as a single one made its way towards her, landing on her nose and melting almost instantly. She couldn't help but smile to herself as she turned towards her car, looking downwards as she struggled to extract her keys from her bag. Her fingers incapacitated by the cold and the hours of art and crafts she'd been forced to carry out, she frowned as she noticed the imprints of a pair of shoes in the snow beneath her

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><p>She tucked her hair behind her ear, squinting in the encroaching darkness at the single set of footprints placed exactly in front of her driver's side window, pointing towards her car. She swivelled around, careful to keep her feet perfectly still so as not to disturb any other tracks, but there were none to be seen. It was as if someone, more specifically she noted, a man, had landed in this spot and had somehow transported themselves out of it; or somehow got into her car. The thought flickered across her mind before quickly being disregarded, although not convincingly, by Elena. She was just imagining things, the snow must have covered the other footprints, it was purely coincidental and she would not have noticed it if she hadn't looked down she told herself.<p>

Finally retrieving her keys she pushed the button on them, hearing the car beep and the doors unlock before hesitantly opening the door. She couldn't help cautiously peering in before she entered the car but a cursory glance informed her that there was no one lurking behind the seat of her car, just a pile of Christmas shopping she had done earlier. She climbed in and shut the door, starting the ignition, immediately hearing a Christmas song come on the radio she groaned and switched it off in exasperation before pulling out of the parking lot.

Elena pulled onto her drive and hopped out of her car; she scooped up her shopping off the backseat and juggled with her stuff to insert her key into the front door.

"I'm home!" she hollered loudly. "Jeremy?" There was no answer and she shrugged, at least she could wrap his present in peace now and Alaric was nowhere to be seen either so she could kill two birds with one stone. Taking her stuff upstairs she deposited it onto her bed, rooting through it and beginning to pull things out of the bags and examine them. Her hand wrapped around something that crunched and crinkled slightly, she pulled it out the bag, not recalling what it could be. In her hand was a present, wrapped beautifully in Christmas paper with a simple label hanging off it in, what looked like deliberately messy handwriting, it read: _To Elena, I hope this helps you regain what you have lost. Merry Christmas, with love._ There was no name written and nothing else about the package that would give away its origins. Feeling the package she noted that it was slightly malleable but still firm and shaped suspiciously like a book, she ran her fingers around the edges feeling a definite dip where the cover gave way to pages. Suspicious and intrigued in equal measure she ripped open the wrapping and noted the thickness of the paper and the care with which it had been wrapped. Who had sent this? She gasped slightly and frowned as she stared at the beautifully ornate journal now clutched in her hands. She had not re-purchased a new journal for the coming year, journaling had not only been a link to her mother and her future ambitions to be a writer but it had also become a link to Stefan and she had decided recently that she would not continue to journal; for neither of those people were coming back into her life.

However, regardless of this she could not help but admire the beauty of the present, it had a purple, leather cover; the leather was soft and supple underneath her fingers as she ran her hands over it and the front was adorned with a swirling embellished pattern consisting of silver and black stitching. It was obvious that it had been made with a lot of love and care by someone extremely skilled. Elena sighed dejectedly; there was only one person who would have bought this for her and because of that she could not accept it. She carefully placed the journal into her bag before grabbing her keys and heading out of the house once more.

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><p>She entered the Salvatore boarding house without knocking, technically it belonged to her and she was in no mood to be met at the door by Damon Salvatore, ready with a smile and a sarcastic comment. Loud music directed her to his whereabouts and she made her way up the stairs towards his room, she arrived at his door to find him reading on his bed, not a pastime she usually found him partaking in. Pushing her surprise to one side she knocked loudly on the already open door, snapping his attention to her, having not heard her over the music. He rushed over to his stereo, turning it off and moving back to his bed before Elena could even open her mouth. "Elena," he smiled pleasantly, "what a wonderful surprise."<p>

She did not return the pleasantries, "I thought we agreed on no presents, Damon." She raised an eyebrow in his direction as he did an incredibly convincing impression of someone who had no idea what was going on.

"Yes...and...?" he asked innocently.

"Then what is this?" she pulled the journal out of her bag and held it up. He frowned immediately and her resolve wavered, maybe it hadn't been from Damon. No, she stopped herself from doubting her instincts, it was him and this was another way for him to convince her to forget about everything that had happened over the last few months and move on. If only life could be so simple.

"I've never seen that before in my life." He shrugged nonchalantly before returning back to his book, Fanny Hill, she noted, unsurprised.

"I'm not joking around Damon; did you buy this for me? I specifically asked you not to buy me anything! And what was with that note? Regain what exactly?" He raised his head from his book, marking his page with frustration before placing it to the side of him.

"Elena," he fixed her with a look that made her freeze, "if I was going to buy you a present my dear, believe me, it would not be a journal. My good friend Miss Tallulah Bankhead once put it quite eloquently to me, it's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have time. Personally, I never had much time for one myself and if I had one gift to give you this year, it would be that you wouldn't either."

She felt herself blush under his gaze as she understood the insinuation behind his words. He made his way towards her, plucking the book from her fingers and inspecting it. Narrowing his eyes dubiously he raised the book to his nose and gave it quick sniff before groaning and shaking his head. "Stefan." He stated irritably. He flicked the pages open, something Elena had not thought to do, "Ugh," he wrinkled his nose in disdain, "Gimme a break." Her eyes widened, terrified that it was another of Stefan's sick jokes directed towards her, who knew what horrors would be inside the journal that could even make Damon uncomfortable. She was surprised then when he haphazardly tossed the journal back to her, just managing to catch it, it fell open to the first page, blank. She frowned but, looking closer, noticed that someone had pencilled in a tiny cross, clearly signifying a kiss, in the bottom right hand corner of the page. She felt her heart warm slightly and her cheeks redden as she flicked through every single page noting 365 kisses, one at the end of every day. A flash of pen drew her attention as she flicked backwards through the journal; landing on the day that would be their anniversary, written simply across the top of the page in Stefan's handwriting was 'Always.'

She felt tears prick behind her eyes and could not control both the smile plastered across her face and also the tears that now rolled freely down her cheeks. She heard the springs of Damon's bed creak as he flung himself back down onto it, picking his book up once more and attempting to ignore the mini breakdown she was having in the middle of his room. She silently left his house, stepping outside into the falling snow, laughing and smiling for the first time in months.

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><p><strong>Well, I was feeling a bit Christmas-sy and I thought I'd write this. Sorry that's its another chapter where Stefan doesn't physically feature. Hope that you and yours have a lovely Christmas :)Also, sorry if Damon seems a bit 'un-Damon' like, I find him quite hard to write when he's not being sarcy and typical Damon.<br>**

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**xxxx**


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